第4問

(配点 12)
In English class you are writing an essay about a science issue you are interested in. This is your most recent draft. You are now working on revisions based on comments from your teacher.
How to Improve Your Sleep
Comments

Scientific research tells us that most adults need around 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night to stay healthy. Long-term lack of sleep can cause many health problems, including heart disease, high blood pressure, and obesity. It also affects our brains, making us less alert and less able to retain information. Despite the importance of sleep, many people find themselves unable to sleep well at night. (1) For instance, there are many things we can do to make our sleep better.

(1) You have used the wrong connecting expression here. Please change it.

First, it is important to expose ourselves to natural light in the morning. This is because our natural daily rhythm is set by exposure to light. (2) ^ Hormones are released from inside our brains which stop us from feeling sleepy. The first exposure to light also instructs our bodies to make the sleep hormone melatonin around 14 hours later.

(2) This sentence does not connect well with the previous sentence. Add more information to improve the flow of your writing.

Second, (3) where do you sleep? The best temperature for sleep is said to be between 18 and 20 degrees Celsius. In addition to light, the human sleep cycle is regulated by other environmental triggers such as temperature. Therefore, by lowering the temperature of our bedrooms, we can signal to the body that we are ready to sleep and that helps us fall asleep quicker and improve the quality of our sleep.

(3) The topic sentence does not explain the following paragraph well. Rewrite it.

Finally, it is known that using electronic devices late in the evening can negatively affect the quality of our sleep. Devices such as smartphones and tablets emit blue light, which can delay the production of melatonin.

In summary, there are a number of things we can do to get better sleep, as we have seen above. (4) ^

(4) I think you should add a final, concluding sentence.
Teacher's Comment Good job! I definitely need to get more sleep, so I will take on your advice! :-)
問1 Based on comment (1), which is the best expression to use instead? 15
問2 Based on comment (2), which is the best expression to add? 16
問3 Based on comment (3), which is the best replacement? 17
問4 Which sentence should you add, based on comment (4)? 18